My Favorite Sport is. . .Sport

So, we're in week 2 of NFL football and week 3 of NCAA football.  MLB baseball is coming to a close with the playoffs beginning in just a little over 3 weeks, and before you know it, college basketball and the NBA will start up again.  With the summer winding down, so do my summer free days of fishing for trout, hiking in the mountains and camping in the woods. Pretty soon deer, turkey, pheasant and quail seasons will be upon us and the hunting will be abundant.  Fall is gearing up, and my favorite time of year is now.  There will be plenty of time later on to talk hunting and fishing, so I'd really like to concentrate on sports rather then activities for this entry. As I've said before, I don't really consider myself and athlete, but I like to watch sports like a motha. If it includes balls of any shape, I'm on it. I like sports so much that i know what that last sentence says and i still don't care. My favorite suburban sport? You guessed it, fantasy sports. From a movie that seems to get better and better the more times I watch it: Step Brothers.

Nancy: "So what have you been working on recenlty Dale?."

Dale: "I manage a baseball team."

Nancy: "Oh, little league?"

Dale: "Fantasy league."

It's that important, sometimes full time job. Between my baseball teams, basketball teams, football teams and myriad of tournament pick em's, knockout leagues, golf pools, and other tournament pools for everything from the NCAA tournament to the Kentucky Derby, living for sports via computer is my athletic activity for most of the year. For most of us in the burbs, old man softball D league, outside barbecue bags, and the occasional round of golf is athletic as we get.  I had a couple buddies who thought it would be a good time to get back in shape, so they decide to get involved in a YMCA flag football league.  Three of those guys ended up in the hospital after 1 game.

Get with the program guys. Once you're out of high school the glory years of leading your team to 4A regional greatness are behind you.  You may play a little inter murals in college, and you may dominate because you weren't good enough to get a college scholarship but you're still better then most of the 5 foot nothing guys trying to play basketball for their fraternity team. Once college is over you better recognize that the older you get the less your body has the ability to recuperate. Either that you or you continue on the path of actually playing sport and we all know how that ends: single and bellied up to the bar every night, because men's rec league  insert sport you shouldn't be playing just got over with. I could go on, but let me tell you, for all of the suburban dads out there, and you know I'm talking to you: fantasy sports is where it's at, and fantasy football is the king of them all.

Whether its a PPR league, straight snake pick'em, or the more complicated auction league, get involved. Find some friends and create a league, or join a national one for free.  Every site offers it and most offer it for free.  ESPN.com, Yahoosports.com, NFL.com: They all offer free fantasy leagues for those that want to play.  If you're new to sports in general or the wife has stolen so much of your manliness that you feel like a castrated church eunuch, fantasy sports offers you the opportunity to take back that which was rightfully yours. It offers you the chance to watch as much football as you can stand, and have a vested interest in each game.  It provides you the opportunity to cheer during every game, regardless of whether or not its your team, because you'll have players on every team. Draft nights are another free chip you get to place in the guy box of going out, because babe, you have to. You can't miss draft night. And if you gamble. . . .well, you're head just might explode at all of the oppurtunities fantasy football offers. No more church on Sunday mornings because you have to set your team before the games start at noon and you have research left to do. No more yard work on Sunday afternoon's, because your favorite team is playing, and every team is now your favorite team.

I'm the Thecarpetmunchers, Chieffantasykillers, and Chieftouchdownher. If you go check out my yahoo profile, its lined with imaginary trophies of third, second and first place imaginary tournament, regular season and playoff wins. I shit talk every week. I take names every game.  And this season, each of my teams opened up week 1 with a win. I can't hurt myself, and the wife thinks I'm making friends. It gives me a chance to see all the guys I never get to see, and a chance to show them them I'm still the best even though all my muscles and strength are gone. If you're not real familiar with fantasy sports and this didn't help, check out two things. 1) the video below. Nobody likes Hitler, but every time you put subtitles to it, its funny. fantasy sports is no exception and it shows how great and frustrating it can be. 2) watch the league on FX. It's great.  An entire show that revolves around 5 childhood friends who can still hang out and watch sports even if they can't play them anymore. It only has about 10 episodes each season, but it is absolutely one of the best shows on television.  See my t.v. list ,cause you know it made the list.